My Journey of Discovering the ‘F-word’

Maya Mohamed

Growing up, I was surrounded by people who would refuse to use the ‘f-word’ and while I may not have known what it truly meant from a young age, I for one was never shy to identify myself as a feminist. Being a feminist is usually perceived as being synonymous with hating all men and believing that men are inferior to women, and despite this being far from the truth, it is sadly a widespread notion. For the vast majority of my life, I would claim to be a feminist yet was only able to reiterate one basic sentence: ‘Women deserve equal rights,’ past this sentence my mind was desolate of anything feminist, however, I would begin to soon progress, albeit rather slowly, in my journey of discovering the ‘f-word’ and unmask what it genuinely stands for without the deprecated influences of society. 

Every day, we are submerged into a society where women being regarded as feeble and submissive isn’t an aberration. From the media we consume daily, to the conversations we have with our friends, gender microaggressions are exceedingly normalised within our communities. The media is one of the most powerful and influential weapons one can utilise to shape and change people’s mindsets, and in a world where mainstream media constantly undermines women and reduces their worth to their beauty, it’s no wonder why casual misogyny isn’t surprising. Casual misogyny is one of the biggest signs of how ingrained into our minds sexism is, that both women and men can be prejudiced subconsciously, without ever realising this is sexist behaviour. The use of casual misogyny, especially in media, must be stopped as it only further aggrandizes men, in a society where they already have the power.  

I believe I can speak for all women everywhere when I say that we’ve had at least a few altercations with sexists. In my own personal experience, it is not the random comments from people we barely know but rather the comments from those closest to us that wound us most. While outright aggressive and violent acts against women certainly aren’t uncommon, most sexism now occurs as small remarks here and there. At present, gender-based discrimination in the public sphere is starting to decrease and people are being held accountable however, sexism in the private sphere is still frequent, especially in places like developing countries where sexist ideologies are in favour. The main problem with sexism in the private sphere is that it’s much harder to eradicate since it’s not in public with multiple witnesses, but rather at home with only the involved parties and we have seen that as a society, people tend to have a proclivity towards choosing a man’s word over that of a woman’s. I can certainly say that throughout my life I have experienced sexist remarks, usually small disguised remarks: that women shouldn’t do certain jobs; that a boy may be messy and unorganised but as a girl, I can’t; being told not to sit ‘like a boy’… Everyone must work together to make sure that sexism is thoroughly eliminated from our society, in both the public and private spheres. 

While in a patriarchal society, all women are oppressed, we must acknowledge that some women must jump over more hurdles than others. Women of colour for years have had to fend off attacks from both sexists and racists, which is why whenever we discuss feminism, we must make sure that women of colour are brought into the conversation. Intersectionality is a mandatory topic to be brought up when talking about feminism, and we must not forget that the women’s rights movement originally emanated from the anti-slavery movement. We have to all present a united front and ensure that the voices of women of colour are heard loud and clear even through the most unstable and tentative of times, in the fight against oppression. 

After I realised how prejudiced society can be to marginalised communities, my world began to change and so did my role models. Throughout my early childhood, my heroes often took the form of the mighty heroes I would see on my TV, however, as I was exposed to the world more and more, the people I would look up to started changing. Instead of idolising fictional superheroes, I started to idolise real-life heroes; the people that would fight for change. My biggest role model is, without a doubt, Malala Yousafzai. Her commitment to achieving equal rights is moving, and she has shown time and time again that she will not be deterred from achieving her goals simply because of a few sexist people who are impudent to girls and women due to their gender. Her strength, resilience, and perseverance are what make her my inspiration. 

Gender equality is not just a dream or aspiration, it’s a goal. We must eliminate all forms of gender-based discrimination if we want to live in a world where everyone is safe and content. For centuries, the war against the patriarchy and male superiority has ceaselessly been fought, and it’s finally time to reach equality, however, true equality can’t be achieved unless we are able to cooperate and reach our ultimate goal of egalitarianism.  

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Maya is a writer from Egypt. If she isn’t writing, she’s likely to be seen enjoying the beach or listening to her favorite music. She also loves animals and hopes to one day own a dog.