Fun Club

By Joelle Pazoff

TO: Cindy Sabowski
FROM: Juliana Flores
Subject: New Organization Registration
Date: 10/20/2008
Dear Mrs. Sabowski,
Hi! My name’s Juliana Flores. I’m a 5th grader in Mr. Watson’s homeroom. I’m writing to you to request registration for a new club at our school. Mr. Watson has agreed to be the advisor, and I already have forty signatures from other classmates (four times the requirement!).
This organization would provide a place for all students to hang out and do whatever they want. We’ll chat, use the computer lab to play games after school, and throw themed parties (with funding).
I think you’ll find that I’m more than qualified to be the club leader—I have a 4.0 GPA (which I have calculated from the number of Super Smiley Faces in my record), eighteen student-of-the-week awards, and a Diamond Saddle rank in my horseback riding program.
Thank you for your consideration,
Juliana

Juliana was supposed to be a bright student, but Mrs. Sabowski found her inclusion of an Oxford comma to be a bit disappointing. Mrs. Sabowski had to remind herself that knowledge came with age. It took years for her to get to her position as the vice principal, and one day, Juliana could understand that too. The first thing she could do to help her get there would be to sign off her approval on her club. She responded via email.

TO: Juliana Flores
FROM: Cindy Sabowski
Subject: Re: New Organization Registration
Date: 10/22/2008
Sure, sounds good.
Sent from my iPhone.

Her phone soon buzzed, showing that she’d received a “Thank You” note in her inbox. It was already two minutes from midnight. Mrs. Sabowski couldn’t decide whether Juliana or her parents were more irresponsible for not having a proper bedtime in place. She sighed to herself as she got into bed and opened up Bejeweled on her phone.
Mrs. Sabowski oversaw all applications for clubs at Yates Intermediate School. Most of them were easy to approve, as she knew the vast majority of these clubs would fade out over time. Students were always excited to get them started with their groups of friends, but none of them were willing to put in the dedication to keep them up and running. Besides, who would want to start a club when the school was already running so smoothly? With events like Typing Day and Geography Week, the students were always entertained. Mrs. Sabowski made sure of it.
Mrs. Sabowski was on her way to her office the next morning, when a little figure with long black braids stepped into her path. She wore a pink sequined jacket and a necklace composed of plastic butterflies. There was an envelope clutched in her hands.
“Hi Mrs. Sabowski,” she said. “My name’s Juliana. I was the one who emailed you a few nights ago. I just wanted to thank you for approving my club.”
“It’s okay, I received your email,” Mrs. Sabowski gave a brief smile and tried to continue towards her office. Juliana waved the card out to her like a red flag, stopping her in place.
“I made this just for you,” she smiled. The braces on her teeth shined under the ceiling lights. “Open it.”
Mrs. Sabowski took the card and peeled it open. The gel ink was a bit smudged, but she could make out that it said, “Thanks for your kelp!” next to a sketch of a mermaid wearing horn-rimmed glasses that resembled her own. The card was also adorned in all types of stickers. Puffed-up stickers, sparkling stickers, and stickers of muffins were clumped together haphazardly.
“The muffins are scratch and sniff. You should try it.” Juliana reached over to tap one of them with a pink, glittering fingernail.
“That’s very nice of you. I hope you enjoy your club.” Mrs. Sabowski said, turning away.
“I love your bracelet,” Juliana continued. “Chunky jewelry doesn’t work on a lot of people, but you can really pull it off!” Mrs. Sabowski sincerely believed the girl wanted nothing more than to keep her trapped in the middle of the hallway for all of eternity. Mrs. Sabowski couldn’t be more grateful for the deafening clang of the bell to interrupt. She said a quick goodbye to Juliana under her breath and rushed towards her office.
“Have a good day, Mrs. S!” Juliana’s voice rang after her.
The only light in Mrs. Sabowski’s office came from a bulky computer. Darkness covered the color-coded shelves, the spotless faded carpet, and the four inked-up calendars that took over every inch of remaining space on her desk. A potted plant sat beside the door, its leaves browning at the tips. Mrs. Sabowski didn’t have the time to care for it, so her student assistant would occasionally water it.
Taking her seat in her rickety chair, Mrs. Sabowski set to work. Before she began the tasks she had scheduled for herself to do today, she noticed a new email in her inbox.

To: Cindy Sabowski
From: The Board
Subject: EVALUATION
Date: 10/23/2008
Hello Cindy,
We will be evaluating your performance as vice principal in the coming weeks. Plan to see us on Friday, October 30th.
Sincerely,
The Board

Mrs. Sabowski’s heart pounded in her chest. The air seemed to escape from her lungs. Her fingers clasped the computer mouse tightly, as if they were ensnaring it. She tried to drop the mouse, but it stuck to the palm of her hand.
Mrs. Sabowski forced herself to let out a breath. Every year she was evaluated, and every year she proved that Yates Intermediate School belonged under her control. She ran that thought in her head over and over until she believed it.
Typing Day was tomorrow. It was a day she always looked forward to. She had an event planned in the computer lab where classes would come in to watch and learn from her typing abilities. A day like Typing Day was what she needed. Mrs. Sabowski clicked out of her email. She pulled out her day planner and made the finishing touches to tomorrow’s schedule.
Mrs. Sabowski didn’t usually feel the need to dress up, but Typing Day was an exception. She wore a dark blue blazer and a sleek, silver necklace to school. Her heels clicked sharply against the tile floor as she strode through the hallway and into the computer lab. When Mrs. Sabowski swung open the door, she froze in place.
Every computer was already taken up by a student, but there was no teacher to be seen. Kids sat in the wheeled chairs, chatting loudly amongst themselves as a cacophony of songs and chimes came from the systems. The keyboards were abused, covered in smudges as well as what Mrs. Sabowski could assume were cookie crumbs. A scowl tugged at her mouth.
“What’re you all doing here?” Mrs. Sabowski asked. “Don’t you know what day it is?”
“Hi, Mrs. S!” The chair with its backside covered with a pink sequined jacket turned around. Juliana was sitting cross-legged, one light-up sneaker casually propped over the other. “This is my club. We’ve got the computer lab checked out right now, but you’re welcome to join us.”
“You can’t reserve the lab. It’s Typing Day.”
“The signup sheet is right here.” Juliana waved a clipboard into the air. She tapped the sheet of paper with a shimmering fingernail. Today, they were painted turquoise. “My club and I have it checked out for October 24th.”
“It doesn’t matter what the clipboard says,” Mrs. Sabowski said. “I have an event scheduled here.”
“You could do it the Friday after Halloween. That’s when we’re having our pool party, so this room will be all yours.”
“No,” Mrs. Sabowski kept her voice stern. “Don’t you have class?”
“Mr. Watson said it was okay,” Juliana smiled, then her eyes flickered over to Mrs. Sabowski’s necklace. “I love your outfit today! That blazer looks amazing with your winter tone.”
“Juliana, I have to ask you and your club to leave. I’m the vice principal, what I say goes.”
“And I’m the leader of Fun Club,” she kept her gaze level with Mrs. Sabowski. “We’re both doing great at what we do.”
Mrs. Sabowski turned to the other students who were facing their computers. They were mostly girls, but she counted six boys among them. “All of you, leave.”
The students stopped where they were. Each turned toward Juliana, like puppets who’d had their strings all pulled at once with her manicured nails. She chuckled. Mrs. Sabowski imagined she saw a dark glint in her eyes.
“Don’t worry about her,” Juliana said, the kids hanging onto her every word. “This is the Fun Club. Everyone’s welcome to keep having fun.” They all went back to playing games and talking.
“No, she’s wrong,” Mrs. Sabowski voiced aloud to no ears that would listen. “You need to get out of here or else I’m giving you thunderclouds on your record.”
Despite threatening the harshest punishment any student at the school could suffer through, no one budged. Mrs. Sabowski expected at least one student to protest, but the room was silent.
“You have to have a reason if you want to go through the trouble of giving us thunderclouds. You’ll find that we didn’t break any rules. Just check the clipboard.” Juliana tapped the sheet of paper again. It was probably one that Mrs. Sabowski had printed herself. Each time slot was divided into neat thirty-minute intervals. She’d never written a rule to limit how many a student could take up. This was her own oversight. Her lips thinned and her jaw tightened. Heat bloomed in her face.
Mrs. Sabowski swept the clipboard into her arms and turned on her heel. The door slammed shut behind her, its sound reverberating through the room.
The best use of the weekend, Mrs. Sabowski decided, was to do everything possible to ensure there were no more mistakes at Yates Intermediate School. She spent hours pouring over documents, files, as well as her own writing in the Yates Yaks Rulebook. Every timesheet would have to be revised. There had to be new limits to where students could go when classes were in session. The computer lab would change its hours, so that students could only visit under specific circumstances. There was no possible way that the Board would have any doubt that Mrs. Sabowski had the school entirely under her control.
Mrs. Sabowski’s eyes had bags under them by the time she was finished with her revisions. She checked the clock on her computer. 12:40 AM. Saturday had flown by in a series of paperwork and emails. As she prepared to turn off the system for the night, she noticed a message in her inbox she had missed.

TO: Cindy Sabowski
FROM: Juliana Flores
Subject: Club Funding Request
Date: 10/24/2008
Hi Mrs. S!
I hope your day is going well. It’s been marvelous to have my own club (it just keeps growing and growing)! That’s why I would love to get us some funding. That way, the Fun Club can be the best it can be, which is what literally everyone at this school wants. For that to happen, we would need $3000.
Thanks!
Juliana

Mrs. Sabowski’s computer mouse slipped from her hand as she read the email a second time. Then again when she picked it back up for a third. She blinked, then rubbed her eyes to verify that she had read it correctly. Could she have meant to write $30.00? Mrs. Sabowski knew it was an easy error for a child to make, but after what took place in the computer lab yesterday, she knew Juliana couldn’t do the same. This was no mistake.
In a matter of seconds, Mrs. Sabowski typed up a rejection letter. Juliana had caused enough damage to Mrs. Sabowski’s plans. She’d have to be a fool to believe she’d offer her own assistance to make matters even worse. Mrs. Sabowski sent the email, but her night wasn’t over yet. There was more work to be done.
Early Monday morning, Mrs. Sabowski shuffled into the halls of Yates Intermediate School with her hair in tangles and her mascara in clumps. She clutched a three-ring binder to her chest as she made her way to her office, occasionally removing a hand to keep her glasses from falling off of her nose. Oddly, there was a large number of students present at a time where the sun had just barely begun to rise. A group of girls stood in a circle, each one of them with their hair in braids. Just like Juliana.
A spindly teacher with overgrown hair made his way past the crowd, giving out high-fives. It was Mr. Watson, Juliana’s homeroom teacher. He must have known about her antics. Mrs. Sabowski waved the binder in her hands to catch his attention. After giving one last high-five to a student in a familiar-looking butterfly necklace, he stepped over to meet her.
“Hi, Mrs. Sabowski. Marvelous morning, isn’t it?” his wired glasses bounced on his nose as he spoke.
“Do you have a second to speak?” she asked him.
“Of course! You know my door is always open.” Mrs. Sabowski struggled to discern whether the cheeriness in his voice was genuine. His eyes were wide as he spoke. She wondered if they ever blinked.
Mrs. Sabowski walked him away from the students in the hall. He swung his arms back and forth as the two entered a classroom. “I wanted to talk to you about Juliana,” she began. “I’m concerned about her behavior. Surely you’ve noticed the way she’s been acting.”
“The way she’s been acting?” he echoed.
“Overthrowing events, outrageous requests, overall defiance and controlling behavior,” she listed.
“Juliana?” his eyes somehow grew wider.
“Juliana Flores. In your homeroom.”
“She’s a great student. A delight to have in class. I swear, if everyone was like her, our school would be the most fun on the planet.” Mr. Watson chuckled. Mrs. Sabowski blinked in confusion. They couldn’t have been talking about the same student. There was no way he could have been blind to the way Juliana had been ruining the school’s plans.
Mrs. Sabowski opened her mouth to ask another question, but found herself shutting it as a student ran past the two of them, holding a slip of paper. The child shoved it into Mr. Watson’s hands. The page fluttered so quickly, Mrs. Sabowski couldn’t read what it said.
“Look at what Fun Club’s doing!” he exclaimed to Mr. Watson. “You have to come to this.”
“I’ll put it in my calendar right now.” Mr. Watson smiled. “I’ll catch you later, Mrs. Sabowski.”
He left before she could respond. She rubbed a hand over the back of her neck, watching him hurry away from her. She straightened the binder in her arms, then walked back down the hallway so she could get to work.
Juliana was talking with a group of students too close to Mrs. Sabowski’s office for her liking. She was peeling pages from a stack of paper in one of her arms, handing it to the kids in front of her. Their faces broke into smiles as they took each flier. Their hands brushed over where Juliana had touched each page. Mrs. Sabowski attempted to unlock her office and squeeze in through the doorway unnoticed, but nothing could pass Juliana’s eyes.
“Hi, Cindy!” her voice rang like an alarm bell. “I love that pencil skirt, it looks so professional. I was just hoping to run into you.”
“Please do not call me Cindy,” Mrs. Sabowski told her. She fumbled with the lock on her door.
“Fun Club is throwing a pizza party in the cafeteria today at lunch time. Don’t worry, you’re definitely invited.” She plucked a paper from her stack and thrust it towards Mrs. Sabowski. Juliana’s purple fingernail covered the space between “PIZZA” and “PARTY” on her flier.
“That can’t be right,” Mrs. Sabowski squinted at the Comic Sans writing. “Today is spaghetti and meatballs day. Every second Monday is spaghetti and meatballs day.”
“I had a talk with the lunch lady. Mrs. Martin is super friendly by the way—she totally rocks that fishtail braid. I told her about Fun Club and she was on board to switch up lunch for the party.”
“There is no ‘switching up’ lunch. It’s on a strict schedule.”
“Maybe you could just move everything a day over. I’m sure no one would mind.”
“Spaghetti and meatballs day cannot be moved to a Tuesday, Juliana. This is a huge mess,” Mrs. Sabowski’s voice was stern. The binder threatened to slip from her arms as she continued to struggle with the lock. “I need to reorganize the meals for the rest of the school year.”
“Okay, no worries,” Juliana beamed. “And don’t forget to show up to the party!”
After finally escaping into her office, Mrs. Sabowski tossed down her bag beside her desk with a huff. Spaghetti and meatballs day changed to Tuesday—had the world gone mad? Taco day would then be moved to Wednesday, which was entirely unacceptable. Her heart beat faster as she imagined if the Board managed to see her utter lack of control over the school. She was supposed to be the vice principal. Why was a student able to make such devastating effects on her plans? Juliana was a tyrant in pink sequins and painted nails. It almost seemed like an insult to Mrs. Sabowski, how Juliana had time to both plan out elaborate nail designs and derail the entire school.
Mrs. Sabowski glanced at the calendar. EVALUATION glared back down at her in blood red ink. The Board couldn’t see her bested by a 5th grader. If throwing a party was the way Juliana took over, Mrs. Sabowski would beat her at her own game. The Board was coming to evaluate her on October 30th, the day before Halloween. That would give her the perfect opportunity to reclaim her school and prove she was suited to run it. Better yet, they would promote her to principal.
She dug into the drawers of her desk to pull out a manuscript that had been collecting dust over the past month. It was ninety-seven pages of a nearly finished detective novella, the perfect way to impress any guest at a Halloween party. She smiled as she set her day planner beside her manuscript and wrote down her plan.

The Fun Club seemed to grow over the coming days. Mrs. Sabowski noted an abundance of pink tie-dyed T-shirts with the name of the club stenciled out in the center. Each one of them was an eyesore, dumped in glitter and sequins. Many students wore theirs everyday as they followed Juliana around the school. There were more changes in the school that Mrs. Sabowski found herself unable to prevent. In less than a school week, there became a designated classroom for Fun Club members to meet, adorned with posters of the Yates Yak wearing a pair of sunglasses. Mr. Watson’s homeroom had renamed their class pet Fun Club Frank, without filling out the required Class Pet Name Change Form.
Mrs. Sabowski took a deep breath each time the Fun Club annexed another part of the school. She reminded herself to focus her attention on the Halloween party on Friday. It wouldn’t matter what the Fun Club was doing as long as the Board came to see the work she’d done, and she was certain they were going to be impressed. The gym was to be decorated in black and orange streamers that would hang down from the ceiling. Fake spider webs would cling to every wall, except by the podium where Mrs. Sabowski would do her reading.
As Mrs. Sabowski was testing the microphone, she heard the sound of spurs against the floor. It echoed through the gym, sending feedback through the speakers. She looked up to see Juliana, wearing pink boots and a cowboy hat.
“Howdy, Mrs. Sabowski,” Juliana said, smiling at her own rhyme. “I love what you’ve done with the gym, it’s super spooky. Do you have a second?”
“I’m in the middle of getting the party ready.”
“It won’t take long.”
Mrs. Sabowski frowned as she turned off the microphone and stepped away from the podium.
“I don’t know if you saw, but it looks like your party is at the same time as Fun Club’s party.” Juliana said, brushing off her plastic sheriff’s badge.
Mrs. Sabowski’s blood ran cold. “What do you mean Fun Club’s party?”
“Haven’t you seen the fliers? We’ve been planning it since last week. We’ve got cupcakes, a fog machine and everything. A few teachers nicely offered to fund it. Mrs. Martin, too.”
“No,” Mrs. Sabowski uttered meekly. What would the Board think?
“But it’s totally okay, because I’ve got an idea,” Juliana stepped forwards, her boots clicking against the floor. “Why don’t we combine our parties? We can have it right here since you made it look so amazing.”
Mrs. Sabowski’s grip on the microphone tightened. “I’ve poured hours into planning this. Every single detail is going to be exactly the way I need it to be.”
“There’s nothing wrong with switching some things up,” Juliana’s tone was light, but her eyes showed nothing but darkness. Mrs. Sabowski clenched her jaw.
“No,” Mrs. Sabowski said. “My party is going to be held as planned.”
Juliana paused. She adjusted her hat, and Mrs. Sabowski noticed her nails were painted red to match the bandanna under her chin.
“That’s okay. Let me know if you change your mind.” The sound of Juliana’s spurs faded away as she left the gym. Mrs. Sabowski let out a breath. She didn’t realize how tall she was standing. Turning around to the podium where her manuscript lay, Mrs. Sabowski went to finish preparations for the party. She would be ready for the Board.

At 2:00 PM sharp, Mrs. Sabowski expected guests to have been seated for at least five minutes. Instead, there was no one present. She tapped her watch to make sure it wasn’t running fast, wondering the same about the clock in the gym. After three more minutes, the first guest arrived. It was Mrs. Sabowski’s student assistant. He glanced around himself as he stepped into the gym, looking like a lost puppy. He took his seat on a fold-up chair in front of the podium.
“Since it’s past time to start, I’d say we’re more than ready to begin the party. I’ll be reading from my novella, Blood from the Gutters,” Mrs. Sabowski glanced over the empty chairs before sticking her nose back into her manuscript. “‘Chapter One: Too Much Blood. Detective Flannery had never seen this much blood in all her years on—’”
A shriek of metal interrupted her reading—a chair scooting back. She looked up from her manuscript to see that the sole member of her audience was gone. There was only a sheet of paper left behind in his place. Mrs. Sabowski stepped away from the podium to examine it. In bright pink letters, the flier advertised the “Fun Club Halloween Jamboree” taking place at the same time. Mrs. Sabowski crushed the flier in her hands, wrinkling it down to nothing.
Mrs. Sabowski stamped through the halls to the Fun Club Fun Room. If the blaring of “Monster Mash” and the yelling of children weren’t enough to draw attention to the open door, the stacks of painted pumpkins would surely do the trick.
“What’s going on here?” Mrs. Sabowski stood in the doorway, staring over the kids in their costumes. Some were spread throughout the room, bobbing for apples, decorating cupcakes, or dressing up the unofficially named Fun Club Frank. Most of them gravitated towards Juliana, who laughed alongside them.
“Glad you could make it,” Juliana turned to Mrs. Sabowski, that brace-filled smirk plastered onto her face. The clump of students made way for her, drawn like curtains.
“Stop it.”
“Come join us. We might just have a cupcake saved for you,” Juliana gestured to a table covered in desserts.
“This needs to stop. All of this. I’m shutting it down.”
The laughter that filled the room disappeared. Mr. Watson’s eyes narrowed as he sat in the corner with Fun Club Frank poking out of his sleeve. They looked at Juliana, but she kept her gaze level with Mrs. Sabowski.
“Why?” she simply asked.
“After everything you’ve done to my school, you know why. You’re out of control.”
“Let’s talk about this outside, okay?” Juliana said. Her eyes flickered up past Mrs. Sabowski’s head.
“No,” Mrs. Sabowski said, walking into the room. “This party is over. Everyone, go back to class.”
The sound of a throat clearing cut through the air. Mrs. Sabowski turned around. In a herd of gray suits, the Board stood in front of her. Her heart began to race, the palms of her hands grew sweaty.
“Mrs. Sabowski,” the gray suit in the center of the herd began.
“You’re here,” Mrs. Sabowski took a step back. “I was expecting a call.”
“The School Board does not call,” the gray suit said, its voice so deep it seemed to rattle the classroom.
“Let me show you around so we can begin the evaluation,” Mrs. Sabowski said shakily.
“No need,” it said. “We’ve seen enough.”
Mrs. Sabowski felt her heart drop into her stomach. Her knees wobbled beneath her. She struggled to keep herself upright. Any words had flown just beyond her grasp.
“You’re evaluating Mrs. Sabowski?” Juliana asked. “I have a lot to say about her.”
The gray suits shifted towards Juliana at once, towering over her. The one in the center nodded, urging her to go on.
“If it wasn’t for Mrs. Sabowski, Fun Club wouldn’t exist,” Juliana said, driving a twinge of fear into Mrs. Sabowski’s heart. “She’s given all of us a safe space to enjoy our lives. She’s a good vice principal, and without her, our school would look a lot different.”
“Thank you,” the gray suit said to Juliana, a certain softness in its voice. The herd turned back to Mrs. Sabowski. “Expect to receive an email from us.”
The herd filed out of the classroom. Mrs. Sabowski felt as if she was going to melt into her own heels. The rest of the students left the room shortly after, Mr. Watson guiding them with Fun Club Frank. As Juliana was about to leave, Mrs. Sabowski called out to her. Juliana stopped in place, but Mrs. Sabowski couldn’t find the words she needed. She stood there, speechless in front of the 5th grader who’d spent the last two weeks making her life miserable.
“It’s funny,” Juliana began. “We’re so much alike. I’ve always wondered why we couldn’t be friends.”
“You’ve been trying to ruin everything I’ve built in this school,” Mrs. Sabowski said.
“Why do you think I’m out to get you?” Juliana asked. “The reason why I started Fun Club was to have a place where students can support each other. I was hoping the two of us could do the same.”
Mrs. Sabowski didn’t know what to say.
“We’re both good for this school. We have great ideas, and we want to see everyone get the chance to grow. I don’t understand why that has to make us enemies,” Juliana said.
Mrs. Sabowski brought her gaze to the tile floor like a scolded child. She stayed silent.
“I’ll see you at school tomorrow,” Juliana smiled. “I love your necklace, it looks super cute on you.” She left, the sequins on her jacket catching the light from the ceiling.

Mrs. Sabowski was still dumbstruck by the time she was back in her room, seated at her computer. She tapped her fingers against the desk.
She booted up her computer, yet she couldn’t bring herself to continue working. It didn’t feel important, it was like she was misusing her time. Mrs. Sabowski opened up her emails. There was no message from the Board yet, but for some reason she didn’t care about what they had to say. Mrs. Sabowski started a new draft.

TO: Juliana Flores
FROM: Cindy Sabowski
Subject: [no subject]
Date: 10/30/2008
Juliana,
Good work on the Halloween party. It seems to have been a success. If Fun Club is going to host more parties in the future, please come to me for permission and that may be arranged.
The color coordination of your costume was well done. Your work in nail design is unparalleled and admired.

She erased the last sentence.

I like your nails.
—Mrs. Sabowski

–

Joelle Pazoff is a writer from the Seattle area who takes inspiration from video games, cartoons, and everyday life. She is a recent graduate of Lewis & Clark College with a degree in English and a concentration in creative writing.